Hot, Sweaty, Stankin' Bloggin'... For all the guys who blah, blah blah... An old re-post with a minty-fresh new foreword...

Hot, Sweaty, Stankin' Bloggin'... For all the guys who blah, blah blah... An old re-post with a minty-fresh new foreword...

by Adam Littlefield on Monday, January 24, 2011 at 9:59pm

     So a couple different conversations I have had in the past few days, and countless statuses I see on the subject, led me back to this entry from '08. It also, like my last entry however many months ago, follows along with a theme I have intended to expound on more on all of us getting-older-by-the-day single people... This entry still rings true for me, for the most part. And I have indeed been a pathetic, spineless asshole on several occasions since, but I've also had some great times. It's all a learning experience, and I have no problems dusting myself off and getting back to it... And the bottom line, the thing I've expressed most in dealing with these situations, my own and others, is that it's TOTALLY FUCKING BORING to just curl up in a ball and not try... Be yourself.... Be honest... If you're completely honest, then you have done your job... You say, "This is me, like it or not, take it or fucking leave it..." You keep on keepin' on, dangit...

Here goes:


Apr 5, 2008 

      Okay, so I found this little tidbit on my board this lovely morning, and I gotta say, I’m getting tired of seeing the goddamned thing, regardless of how long it’s been since I’ve seen someone post it or bothered to look at it. Every time I see it I get this overwhelming urge to puke garden gnomes. I’ve commented on it before in surveys and bars and here and there, but it’s been awhile since I blogged a bit, so I am oddly inspired to rant (anti-rant? rant-the-rant?) a bit about it…..Let’s have a look:
 
To every guy that’s said, "You’re beautiful"

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her

To every guy who has given her flowers just because thats how he rolls.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that did what she wanted to do.

To every guy that cried in front of her.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with meaning.

To every guy that hugs her when she’s sad.

To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.

To every guy that would give his seat up.

To every guy that just wants to cuddle.


To every guy that reassured her that she is beautiful no matter what.

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams

To every guy that walked her to her car and opened the door.

To every guy that gave his heart.

To every guy who hopes that she is happy even if you are not with her.

To every guy that loves her for who she is and not what she looks like

To every guy who has listened and never complained.

To every guy who has the balls to repost this.

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore.

And because of this, there are not many left out there.

I guarantee 90% of the men on your page will not repost this b/c they care more about their image.
If you are a nice guy repost this with: "Nice guys STILL finish last "

 

      Okay okay okay… It’s cute right? Isn’t it cute? It’s cuuuttttte…. Yarf... Seriously though, I’m reminded of this old comedy sketch (Chris Rock I think) where he talks about someone bragging because they take care of their kids, pay their bills, don’t beat their spouse, whatever… And Chris is all like, ’Muthafucka, whaddya want, a medal? A cookie? You sposed ta do that shit. You sposed ta take care o’ yo kids. You sposed ta pay yo bills. You sposed ta do YO SHIT (exclamation point deleted).’ In case it needs to be said, I’m paraphrasing there, and much love to all the people out there holdin’ down their end and doin’ they shit, but the ones constantly bragging about it are often being needlessly defensive or just plain trying to convince themselves by way of their own whacked-out ideologies. Either way, this whiney doctrine strikes me as similar. Granted, I’m for all this shit, except for the crying in front of them thing and maybe the flowers thing*; however, I’m staunchly against all this pissing and moaning. This post should be labeled "For every guy that tries too hard or tries to date someone waaaay out of his league**" Yeah, that has a good ring to it, slap it on a bumper sticker.
     
      Alrighty, so trying too hard or being too agreeable is an easy thing to do, and an easy repellant. Is that limburger cheese in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? We’re all guilty of it at some time or another to varying degrees, I know I have been and will inevitably be again. It’s surely not an exact formula***. But you can be a nice guy and still not be a pushover or a driveling sap. The point is that it is a process, a trial-and-error process that frustrates some men to the point of bitter cynicism. I have also spent long stretches of time over the years being a bitter asshole. But you know what it got me? Doodly-effin’-squat man. Not a fucking thing but more pissed off… And how attractive is that?
     
     Yeah, so I’m a fat guy. A tall, interesting, loveable, reasonably handsome fat guy, but a big-fat-fatty nonetheless. I guess somewhere around 89.7% of women are out of my league physically. Does that keep me from talking to them or hoping to spoon them? Hell no. Have I pined over girls who loved everything about me except the fact that I’m a big-fat-broke-lazy-fatty? Hell yes. Countless times… And I will again… But I’ve realized some time in the past couple years that this is most often the result of trying to date out of your league, and must be dealt with accordingly. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a woman who is your whole package, but one must be prepared for the consequences and be willing to keep on keepin’ on. You can’t sit around whining about it. You take your lumps and get back out there. Or you do something to remedy whatever it is that is making you unattractive to whomever it may be. Change the things you can. What you don’t do is blame it on being nice.
     
     This may seem harsh. It may seem self-deprecating; but trust me, I’m fine, just doin’ how I do. It may seem like I’m being one of Chris Rock’s people needlessly defending their actions (or lack thereof). But as a former bitter asshole who used to blame the fact that I wasn’t getting laid on being too nice, I felt the need to address the issue. It’s one of those non-perishable rants in my brain that I blew the dust off and sent to my fingers. I had intended to break down some of the actual statements made in this bulletin-that-should-be-erased-from-the-world, but alas I’ve been typing for way too long and I think you all get the idea. To the person who posted the niceguy rant, should you happen to read this, I assure you that this is not personally directed at you in any way, shape, or form. You are not alone out there, brother.
     
      We all feel like the world (or some scallawag) shits on us from time to time, but we must be who we are… If you’re a niceguy or gal or whatever, just be one . With no expectations or lamentations. Stay the course, good things will happen… Do YO SHIT (exclamation point deleted). Good morning people
~Boombalias


*Perhaps if I weren’t such a poor cracker, though I’d rather show my affection by cooking her a good meal, you can make some bomb-ass shit for the cost of a dozen roses.
**Most often times physically.
***Not exactly true. A very close friend, who is very much a nice guy (though also good-looking with a good career and education), has an exact formula that seems to work well for him and others he chooses to share this formula with. Results may vary, and it mostly only works if you’re working reasonably realistically within your optimal, ummm potential-mate/partner-in-sex-zone we’ll say. And no, you may not know this formula, as it would automatically give certain nice guys an undeserved asshole label, as well as break an unspoken confidence. 
If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way
repost this with: "To Every Guy"