Intro...

So I have been meaning to make one of these forever, in hopes that it spawns more entries and such... For now, I plan on importing some entries from here and there, and expounding on some of said entries that were meant to be a part of something bigger... I figured for my first entry, I'd revert to the old Facebook '25 Random Things' thing, and go from there... Some of the info is a bit dated, but I think it sets a tone, and it just feels like a good place to start... So here goes...


1. I hope to one day be paid exorbitant amounts of money to write; on a ridiculously lenient deadline schedule that I still manage to violate. That may be a bit lofty considering that I still have trouble writing more than few pages at a time, but I have confidence in my style and the rest will come.

2. I am pretty sure I was a king in one of my former lives, or at very least a high-ranking noble in several of them. My sense of entitlement is nauseating at times, though it is equally balanced by my benevolence.

3. I believe in former lives ;)

4. I despise exclamation points. You can use them if you like, I won't think any less of you. They are just not for me. If you cannot glean through the context of my words where an exclamation point might be, should I choose to use them, then I have not done my job.

5. That said, I love to hyphenate, for-no-good-reason. Well, there is always a reason, but it gets a bit ridiculous at times…

6. Having to choose only one meat to eat for the rest of my life would suck major balls, but if I did, it would be pork…Hands down.

7. I have an odd dislike for David Caruso. Every time I see that stupid-look-that-made-him-famous and hear his overacted-dumbass-voice, it’s all I can do not to go in to a blind rage, give the nearest person the high-kick-straight-up-to-the-chin.

8. Luckily for said nearest person, I am well-seasoned in the arts of restraint, patience, and tact.

9. Chex mix is good…I like to get a big handful and eat all the pretzels first, then eat all the other stuff until only the Chex remain, then shove the rest in my mouth. They should make Chex mix with just the Chex.

10. I’m eating Chex mix…

11. Dr. Pepper is my favorite sodie*. Up until a few months ago, I had not drunk one in almost three years. I’m not even really sure why.

12. My Dad was my best friend. That has had its faults and benefits, but I strive for the best of him to live on through me. The bad stuff is there too, but Mom gave me the book smarts to go with his street smarts and people skills, so I’ll wrangle that into something sooner or later ;) Either way, he was my guy man. Our relationship was real; good, bad, and ugly. I last saw him sitting on the pot with the door open, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I was there for all of it, and now it is done…He died on a Saturday, 27 Saturdays ago. It’s Saturday…

13. Speaking of Saturdays, the last time Get-Drunk-and-Stew Day** fell on a Saturday was in 2003. I’m not sure how that works, take the leap year and carry the three, but I remember it vividly. There was a balls-out blizzard and I got my ass kicked in front of like three hundred people (it would’ve been a couple thousand if not for aforementioned balls-out blizzard), including most of my family and a few of my friends. It was the culmination of an interesting couple years of my life and it spawned an ugly many-years-long backslide, but I wouldn’t have that any other way either. It was one of the coolest nights of my life…

14. I take the good with the bad.

15. I love ellipses…

16. I do these a lot :D I’m not a fan of the :) As most of you are well aware, when you do this one :D in an IM or whatever, it makes a big toothy smile. So, ya know, I just think that this one :) is a little weak when this one :D is at your disposal. Smiling’s my favorite.

17. If we’ve ever spoken for more than ten minutes, I probably know something about you that very few people know. Uhh, whether I know it or not. Three cups of blessing, one cup of curse :D

18. I wrote and directed a play that was one of like 6 chosen out of hundreds to be produced by a traveling acting troupe in conjunction with Knox College when I was in like 4th grade. That’s no biggie, but it popped into my head and made me realize that I hadn’t/haven’t really attempted to write dialogue before or since. I may have to give that a go.

19. Most of my favorite memories involve roadtrips; some smooth, many not-so-smooth…

20. A favorite feeling from late-childhood was riding my bike home from Little League park at night. We’d played some cup-ball and bitched about how hot it was, talked some shit to each other, talked some shit to some girls. We’d drunk blue raspberry slushies at the Cozi-Cone, and life was about to get a bit more complicated. And the ride home was dark, and cooler, and introspective. And on the right nights, at just the right times, you felt like you might be the only person for miles, in the world maybe. It was the best of both worlds.

21. I love a good romantic comedy. I believe in all that shit. I’m a huge sap…

22. On our 8th grade trip to Washington, the Reverend Jesse Jackson told me I looked like I’d been “eatin’ second helpins’.”

23. I will make babies with a tall, intelligent, funny, volumptuous, strong woman. I won’t seek her out. No more than I’ve sought my favorite books or music, they’ve just sort of come to me for the most part. I will someday write about this quest. There are plenty of characters, and new ones pop up all the time…

24. I’ve always been honest about who and how I am, and what I will or will not do. It’s one of the reasons people love me, and I grow more comfortable-with and confident-in myself every day.

25. I would rather talk about books or art or karma or food or your problems than I would politics or sports or boats or cars or the economy***, so many of my closest friends are of the fairer sex. Some of them even call me one of the girls… I’m not at all uncomfortable with that, because I also love to : burp, fart, drink, stink, scratch, sniff, pick, lick, flick, pee in the shower, wear dirty socks, and say mean things to pretty girls. So I’m all man… Maybe I’m a lesbian…

Thank you and goodnight…

* (soda, pop, soft drink, or as they call every sweet carbonated beverage in certain places across the south, coke.)
**(aka Valentine’s Day, aka today)
***(word to the wise though: don’t get me started on the decline of the American work ethic or the millions of people living far beyond their means and all the clusterfucks those things create)